It is truly a miracle that (a) you are reading this and (b) the world wide web was not harmed in the making of this blog (you are welcome, Al Gore).  I am obscenely baffled by and have an itchy and uncompromising fear of technology.  Blogging has been an unattainable dream, primarily because I’ve not been able to figure out how a blog gets onto the interweb.  Seriously.  It is evil magic of which I fear to partake.

Enter my wonderful, patient, blogger-friend, Jennifer Cobb Pyron.  She came over last Saturday to fling back the curtain of technological mystique so as to allow me to upload every word, thought, and emotion with ease.

Yeah.  She tried, bless her heart.

She sat at my kitchen table and patiently showed me how to snag my domain name, set up a WordPress account, and navigate my dashboard.  She even helped me start an actual blog page.  Because we were limited on time and I, of course, had not actually drafted anything because I honestly didn’t believe that I would be accepted into the blogosphere, she “bookmarked” a few elements on my blog so that I could come back later and fill them in.

We uploaded a grainy pic (the only one I could find on my desktop) simply to hold the spot.  I got the giggles when she input the old “learning to type” standard, “The quick brown fox jumped over…” and said, “Oh, please, please, please make me ‘Quick Brown and Foxy!’ ”  Suddenly, being quick, brown, and foxy was my goal and I had to have it as my temporary tagline bookmark.  Seriously.  Say it.  You want to be quick, brown, and foxy now, too, don’t you?

So for those three people out there who don’t know all about blogs, once you start your blog page, you can work on it as long as  you want before you actually publish it into the big, wide, world.  So, Jenn left and I decided to edit the look of my blog.  I knew I could whip that sucker into shape in no time.  Two hours later, I was sweaty, had clicked every button known to WordPress, and was ready to fling my computer through the window.

The next day, I thought it would be fun to see what happened when I typed in my domain name – maybe a cute little “Under Construction” sign?  I was engulfed in one of those “oh dear lawd, no no no” cold sweats when I found that my blog-in-progress had magically published itself for all the world to see.  Or maybe when I was clicking all of those buttons on WordPress, I published the dang thing. We will never know for sure.  I do know that it took me three days to figure out how to hide and edit my post.  I am now fielding emails from folks interpreting “quick, brown, and foxy” in ways I had not imagined.

My first foray into blogging?  I had envisioned a poignant and softly humorous description of my life, an evocative definition of  “katabolyze,” and a first impression that would leave readers thinking, “I get her.  She gets me.  Let’s all stand up and applaud her brilliance.”

Instead, my first (accidental) post is an accurate reflection of my messy, quirky, fabulously flawed life.  I may develop a brilliant blog with a loyal following.  I could possibly become a household name.  I just might end up discussing my spiritual insights with Oprah, as we meander through the woods wearing carefully styled cashmere scarves.

The more likely scenario is that I will eventually get the hang of this, attract a few folks who say, “Yup.  My life’s not perfect either.  You go, girl,”  and learn to live with the reality that nothing on the Internet ever goes away.  I will forever be “quick, brown, and foxy.”

But just in case, I’m heading out to shop for cashmere scarves.